Painting Balloons

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It seemed written in the stars somewhere, and even within my own astrological chart that I would travel to sacred Pyramid sites.  Ever since I was around the age of 4 or 5 I dreamt of travelling to Egypt to discover new mummies at the Pyramids of Giza.  Little did I know (consciously) that my first sacred Pyramid site would be in Mexico, in the ancient city of Teotihuacan.  But somehow even my wardrobe knew it.

As soon as I began to pack for my trip, I discovered all these items of clothing with pyramids and tigers, and even a dress that was covered in bright orange pyramids.  This brought me back in my memory to a room in my old apartment that I decorated solely in homage and honor to Frida Kahlo, the famous Mexican Goddess painter.  I even decoupaged a cabinet with a giant print of Frida Kahlo’s painting, “The Two Frida’s” so that one side of the cabinet opened with her Mexican self, and the other side opened with her Spanish self.  She portrays in this painting the dynamic  split between worlds, which was her heritage.  I had Frida Kahlo katrinas, and Mexican candlesticks. I had baskets of fake vibrant colored fruit displayed in woven baskets.  The room was painted orange sponged to look like plastered walls. If I didnt know me, I would have asked… what is your obsession with Mexico and Frida Kahlo?  But, I did know me, and I feel now, a deep part of me was preparing to arrive at the Dreaming House, where I found myself staying so very close to sacred and mysterious pyramids of Teotihuacan.

I believe there are parts of ourselves that truly know before we know.  There are parts of us that prepare, that pave the way, that predict.  In the Dreaming House, where I would be staying, they, too have two rooms that were filled with Frida Kahlo paintings and the unique pathos of her energy.  I knew, upon hearing this, I would feel right at home.

There were many small miracles that occurred in Teo, many of which will stay in Teo, but some that were uniquely my own, and even one that linked back to Frida.

To give a little backstory–several years ago, I was trained as a Reiki practitioner.  As a Reiki practitioner you are attuned to Reiki energy, similarly to becoming tuned into a specific radio station, or frequency.  After my very first attunement I woke up the next morning, and all I could think about was painting hot air balloons. Bright, colorful, rainbow balloons! I felt so at peace with this idea. Actually I don’t remember a time that I ever felt so peaceful as when that inspiration blazed through my consciousness.  But in those few years that followed, I never painted them.  Partially because I am not officially a painter.  And partially because I forgot.

Well, when I arrived at Teo, the first morning we had a yoga class.  I was stretching and enjoying the process, when my friend Jill who was next to me , said “Grace, look out the window.”  The very first thing I saw was colorful hot air balloons, floating on by to visit the pyramids.  This image made me tear up in gratitude, because I felt so deeply seen by Spirit in that moment.  Any worry about spending 2,000.00 on a trip to a place you had never even heard of, much less knew what you were getting into, simply floated away in that moment with those balloons.  But then this moment became even more surreal. I almost felt like I was Alice in Wonderland discovering the cupcakes before opening the doors to Wonderland.  In front of my yoga mat was a red square tin with a lid slightly loosened. I happened to reach down and open it during the class, just to see what was in it, and inside of it was several sets of paints and paintbrushes! Propped behind it was a Frida Kahlo canvas bag that I discovered after class was filled with mini-canvases.  I heard the message loud and clear: “It is time to paint a hot air balloon.”

One evening I stole away from our group of 15 women, and went back to that room, and even though I had never painted in this way, I painted my very first balloon.  It made me wonder…had my consciousness also prepared me for this? Or was the Universe conspiring with me to paint something blissfully happy, and finally I was literally given all the tools at my feet? In either case, it was the first miracle of many throughout the trip that helped me feel loved, seen, and taken care of.

In the Toltec healing traditions, one of the first things that you learn, is that you are an artist creating your own life.  You are the writer and you are the painter.  You tell the story of your life.  Don Miguel Ruiz talks about the idea that each of are the main characters in our own stories, and to create your best life, you can always change, re-design, and re-write your story.  But, you cannot change those around you, unless you change your own story. He talks about how focusing on changing others’ stories is a distraction to your own art.

But, he says, when you focus on your own art, miracles begin to happen all around you.  I was already beginning to understand this on a much deeper level now.  The theme of staying focused on what I was creating began to weave it’s way through my experience there.  This was step one.  Paint my own picture.  The art was in my hands.

 

stay tuned for more on my trip to Teo next week!

 

 

 

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Freedom in the age of Pluto in Capricorn

 

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The Colonial Inn with my friend Abraham

I apologize that almost a week has gone by without writing. This particular blog post needed time to bake in the oven of my consciousness, before I posted it.

One of my favorite places to go write these days is in Concord, MA. I have a fond memory last summer of revisiting the Old Manse, fantasizing about what it would have been like to sit in the dining room with Thoreau and Hawthorne discussing literature.  I ended up buying a cd of the Aeolian Harp at the Manse bookshop, which is an invention by Thoreau. It is a type of harp that sits in the window and the instrument plays sheerly through the power of the wind. No human hands needed.   It sounds like crystal bowls, only more beautiful to me, because you also hear the sounds of the birds, the wind, the rain and thunder, the chugging of the passing trains.  What a genius alchemization of music and nature.  Thoreau himself thought it to sound like the heavenly spheres. I have to agree. I found my cd earlier this week and played it all day to clear what felt like the heavy energies in the world right now.

There is much more to say of my experience last summer visiting Concord, but for now, I will say something is really drawing me here to continue to connect with the land.  It occurred to me today just why that may be.

The fame about the land surrounding the Old Manse, is that it is where “the shot heard round the world” was fired against the British who had reached their extent of political and economic control in the eyes of the Americans.  The Americans had had enough of the taxation and repression under British rule. The American Revolution began here in 1775.

I have been thinking a great deal about historical cycles and astrology, particularly Pluto transits. Pluto stays in one astrological sign for many years, influencing whole generations of people. Pluto rules the powers of transformation, regeneration, and power in the collective.  Depending on what sign it is in, tells a lot about how that particular generation and the individual can change society, and it also tells where the pitfalls are.  (More details on that in a later blog.) Pluto is in Capricorn right now, and it has not been in the sign of Capricorn, since, you guessed it: the time of the American Revolution! Pluto was in Capricorn during the years of 1762-1776.  Before that it was in Capricorn in 1516-1530, a time when the Protestant Reformation began, the German Peasant Wars, and many other significant revolutions.

So here we are again.  The shadow side that often comes to the surface during Pluto in Capricorn phases, is the theme of the abuse of power.  As a collective we begin to notice how economic, political, ethical, or religious structures no longer serve us.  And, in a very Pluonian way, many begin to feel that these structures need to die, and be reborn, completely transformed into new structures that FREE us.  This is the true alchemy of Pluto in Capricorn: creating new structures that support the individual and the collective instead of dominating it. “Power to the people” is a phrase that sums up this new time in it’s highest state.

I immediately think of our political candidates. Which politcal candidate resembles a power hungry dictator? Clearly, Trump.  Which candidate resembles the idea of giving power back to the people out of the economic hands of banks, special interest groups, etc? Clearly, Bernie.  I am seeing both sides of Pluto in Capricorn playing out right now very clearly in the political sphere. Which side will we choose?

As I drove into Concord, the Unitarian church had a giant banner out front : “Black Lives Matter. Join the Conversation.”  As I was seated at my table, I was placed next to this painting of Abraham Lincoln, and immediately began to write about freedom in the context of a fiction work I am writing.  I could feel the revolution in the air. Who is not yet free in our society? What structures are still dominating people groups, whether by race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or otherwise?

We are at a VERY pivotal time in our history.  If history repeats itself, this year and next will be THE time when we will begin a revolution.  It will heat up and take shape in 2019-2022 if it follows the trends of previous  Pluto in Capricorn generations.  In previous generations, war was the popular way that revolution happened.

I left my comfortable seat next to Abraham, and took another visit to the Old Manse to walk the land. A song began to hum in my head out of nowhere. I could only recall a couple lines of it, and had to google it when I got home. The words were uncanny to me!

It Came Upon A Midnight Clear by Edmund Hamilton Sears

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold:
“Peace on the earth, goodwill to men
From heavens all gracious King!”
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come,
With peaceful wings unfurled;
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world:
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever o’er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

O ye beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow;
Look now, for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
Oh rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophets seen of old,
When with the ever-circling years
Shall come the time foretold,
When the new heaven and earth shall own
The Prince of Peace, their King,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

Sears was a Unitarian minister who believed not only in the equality of men and women, but he also thought slavery was inherently wrong.  In this song, I gathered he also believed that, peace was something we could attain with Heavenly helpers.  It was no wonder I was hearing this song now, as I walked this land where the war began.  The song suggests, if we listen to our angelic guidance, we can become like the song being sung to us. It suggests we can sing a song of peace too.

But, we have to be aware of this astrological cycle to understand the bigger picture here.  To become free in this generation, the powers that dominate people need to be transferred back to the people.  This song that popped into my head today says to me that if we become aware enough, soon enough, this CAN happen peacefully.

But HOW? Well, partly, we need to go within and grant ourselves personal freedom on every level. We need to claim our power back from influences that have taken our power away through oppressive structures.  Analyze your belief systems around these structures.  Analyze who is trying to take away your power.  Analyze and begin to construct new, more freeing realities in and for yourself.  Take your power back.  See through the illusion, and know you are an infinite Divine being who is being supported by the Heavenly realms.

I truly believe peace begins within.  As you take back your power, you also teach others how to take back theirs and it becomes like a ripple effect in all the consciousness that you touch.  You begin to hear the truth being sung all around you: the truth that you are being unconditionally supported, even when there are folks in the world who seek to dominate and crush your spirit, and the spirits of many.

Truly ask and look at who is giving the power back to the people.  Choose wisely at who you want on your side politically, ethically, morally, emotionally and otherwise.  You do have a choice. You do have a say. And you do have ears that can listen and hear the Heavenly spheres.  And if you don’t feel you can, go buy an Aeolian Harp cd and you will hear the messages loud and clear! haha

To be free, I feel we can have a peaceful revolution from within. It can be in harmony with nature, and with the celestial spheres all at once. But we must choose wisely. We must choose thoughtfully. We must choose to take the higher road.  This is a very pivotal time in our history when anything can happen.  It is indeed a time of revolution.  And I think it can be a time of peaceful and beautiful revolution, like the world has never seen.  Whatever your current belief system, can you allow it to fully breathe and also to be freed up? Can you give it so much space that you then have room in your heart to give others freedom as well? Can you totally and unconditionally accept who you are in each moment even if your reality isn’t mirroring that yet?

For example if you are feeling burdened financially, can you try to take your power back and realize that Source is infinite, and the supply to you is endless?  Can you align with people who are living out this freedom already? Can you fight for your own freedom? If you are feeling an assault on who you are as a person, can you lean into the energy of unconditional love for yourself?  Can you align with people who have given themselves this gift of love? Can you teach others how to do this, once you have mastered this? Release your inner dictator.  Release your inner oppressor.  Wherever they have come from.  It does not matter.  It’s all about aligning with the right energy to grow, and to be freed up.

Slowly, but surely, your reality will change . Or maybe rapidly.  It is all a mystery.  But you do have a pivotal role to play. Honor that. Listen, and follow the guidance from within. What frees you, will also free others.    What frees others, will also free you. Look. Watch. Listen. Learn. Breathe.

 

 

 

 

Danburite Windows

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Danburite

A long while back, when I was just beginning to study the healing arts, I had a dream.  And in the dream, I was given a piece of Danburite, the stone pictured above.  I was told the name of the stone, but in my dream I kept hearing: “Banburite.”

A few days later I went to visit a local school and take a tour to decide if I wanted to pursue Polarity therapy.  As I was being shown the school, I noticed that all the classrooms were named after crystals.  One was “Jade,” another “Crystal,” and the last was : “Danburite.”

“Oh,” I thought in my head, “That is the crystal I heard in my dream.”

To me this was a very good sign that I was on the right track. I knew enough then to know that Spirit speaks to us in synchronous ways.

This particular stone is said to help connect you with your angels, which has always been appealing to me. As a little girl, I wore out the guardian angel prayer , like it was my favorite pair of socks.  It went something like this:

“Angel of God, my Guardian dear,

To whom God’s love commits me here.

Ever this day be at my side,

To light, to guard, to rule, to guide.”

I always felt a little more protected when saying that prayer.  It was a deep comfort.

About two years ago, a friend gave me a fairly large piece of Danburite crystal, much to my pleasure.  It came with me to my offices, and was always part of creating sacred space.

At some point I felt it was ready to come home.  As I went to reach into the bag that I had placed it in, I jammed my hand in too fast, and a shard of it sliced into my middle finger. I had my first ever crystal sliver! How cool! It went right under the skin, and stayed there.  I had happened to be very busy for a good couple weeks, and never even had a moment to take it out.

When I finally went to take it out, skin had grown over the tiny sliver, and it was difficult to dislodge it all.  I got most of it, but I was unable to get all of it out. I feel it at times when I will press down on my finger.  I would like to get it out at some point, but another part of me feels it is a part of me now. I don’t really mind, and my body doesn’t seem to mind it either.

Throughout these couple of weeks, working with these essences, and connecting to my higher self, what has really opened up within me is remembrance and joy of teaching people Reiki.  As I was teaching last night, I remembered something that I had totally forgotten about.

One interpretation of Danburite is that it resonates at the same vibration as Reiki energy!

And then it hit me: Reiki is something meant for me to be doing right now.  It is a part of me.  This crystal in my hand is a reflection of that.

I know, it may sound crazy, but I heard this message loud and clear last night as I taught.

It can be difficult to know what it is that is right for you to be doing in life.  I know I am always playing with new ideas, and exploring different avenues.  I like to keep my options open.  But I know, for many of us, in this this culture and time, we suffer from an overwhelm of options. This can be tricky.  There are, however, a few ways to know and remember who you are and what experiences are meant for you.

One of those ways is observing if what you are doing lifts you up and brings you and others joy.

Another is seeing if these experiences flow easily to you, and you don’t have to struggle to attract it, embody it, or embrace it.  By struggle, I mean, do doors open easily for you in regards to what you are up to, or do they slam shut? Watch and pay attention.  Our higher self knows, as does our angelic guidance, and arranges the puzzle pieces that fit easily.  Our higher self also tries to tell us when something is not right for us, often by creating struggle.

Another way to tell if something is for you, is if it brings you peace, and others too.  In this way, it not only serves you, but your community as well.

There are few things that have given me as much joy, pleasure, and peace than teaching Reiki.  I was grateful to be reminded last night of this special crystal that holds Reiki and angelic energy, and is now a part of me.  It always was, but the Universe sent me a gentle reminder. The things that are truly meant for us, stay with us.

Even throughout my journey of learning a whole host of different kinds of energy work, something drew me to Reiki.  Fellow teachers and colleagues would tell me that I didn’t “need” to learn Reiki because I was already an “advanced” energy worker. But something always drew me to it nonetheless.  And when the timing was right, the teacher appeared, and made it really easy for me to take the course, even when I could’t afford it.  It all happened naturally.  This is how things go, I knew, when we are in alignment with our higher selves.

What flows easily and naturally to you? These are expressions of your gifts.  Harness them. Enjoy them. See them as yours.  Know that what is truly yours will always be with you.

One of my favorite little wise children I nannied for years ago said to me: ” Grace, I think you should be a window for Halloween.”

I thought, what is she communicating to me? She is saying: “Be transparent. Let the light come through your whole being.”

How can you be transparent? What experiences allow light to flow through you without interference?

Surely, herein lies some of your deepest answers.

 

Loyalty

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Yesterday morning, I paid an early visit to the local YMCA for a workout, and time in the sauna. As I entered the sauna, two elderly women came in after me, who were probably in their late seventies.

One said to the other: “Did you know I lost my sister recently?”

The other: “Oh no, I did not know that. Was she sick?”

She went on to describe her sister Anne’s  all too common travails of acquiring a staph infection after having a bad fall. The infection spread rather rapidly, and brought her life to a premature end. Her sister was ninety years old.

While Anne was on her deathbed, she asked to see her sister, who was sitting with me in the sauna now. The woman in the sauna said:

“Do you know what Anne shared with me right before she died? She said to me:
‘Do you remember when we were teenagers, the time we went to the Harvard Theatre with two boys, and it turned out that we didn’t like them at all? We went to the bathroom, and decided to leave them there without telling them.'”

She went on to say:

“Anne was fully aware and present when she died, and this was the last memory she shared with me.”

I began to loosely process this. What would make a 90 year old woman want to share that very specific memory with her sister? Why did she share this, and not some other memory about her children, maybe, or perhaps some family experience they had together? Why this memory? And why was I hearing it right now?

Later that day, it began to percolate more as I thought about the subject of loyalty. An experience in my life made me begin to question whether people had loyalty anymore, and if so, what did that look like? I began to feel upset by this thought, and perhaps the times where I was very loyal to people, but they did not return the favor. My mind began it’s tally, wracking up the imbalances. I have a bunch of planets in Libra in my astrology chart so I am good at keeping track of these small injustices. (Although I don’t really feel it is in my higher nature to do so.) Nonetheless the idea of loyalty was upsetting me, even though I was the one who walked away from an experience that wasn’t serving me!

It all began to make sense as I reflected on this more, and what this woman was sharing in the sauna.

Loyalty comes from a root word that really means faithfulness. But, it begs the question, to who or what are you being faithful to? And why?

Here were these two women, at least 65 years ago, who walked away from a situation that didn’t serve them. The woman on her deathbed did not sound like she was confessing her sins, but rather she was saying something completely different. She was reminiscing, and instead she was saying: “Remember how we did that? How we simply walked away? How we were bold, and strong, and independent? Remember how fun that was?”

These two young guys from the theatre, could have thought these women were being disloyal. But in another very real sense, the women were being loyal to something entirely different: themselves.

And I think this is the point. I am thankful I was in that sauna to hear this message: it is okay to simply get up and walk away from something that is no longer supporting you. It does not mean you are bad, or wrong, or uncaring. It does not mean you should walk around your whole life with a giant Scarlet letter “D” for disloyal on your chest. I think, many times what it DOES mean, is that you are being loyal to yourself.

On a very cosmic level, we attract that which we are, and the qualities which we embody. If I went back far enough to analyze the situation I walked away from, I had moments where my gut was saying: “No, do not go any further with this situation.” And I didn’t listen. By not listening to my gut, I began the pattern of disloyalty. Not disloyalty to others, but to myself. There would have been no other choice but to eventually walk away, unless I really wanted to really betray my own trust. And so, I sent out this vibe of disloyalty, like a ripple across the cosmos. And here it was, being reflected back to me, very deeply.

Yet, when I did finally walk away, my energy opened back up and I began to experience flow in my reality again, in much bigger ways than I had expected. This is because when we are loyal to ourselves we fall back into alignment with what our higher self knows it needs. When we are loyal to ourselves, we create non-resistance for what brings us life to flow back in. We step back into the flow of life, and of love and being loved. When we are disloyal to ourselves, we put up a wall. We say: “I do not deserve to experience better than this. I need to suffer through this.”

Believe it or not, I used to be way worse about walking away from situations that no longer supported me. I remember staying in an emotionally abusive relationship for five years out of what I had thought was a sense of “loyalty.” I remember multiple jobs which I hated, that I stayed in for months or years beyond what I knew and felt was right. Now, I can almost perceive in the moment if something feels off. This took a lot of practice. But still, sometimes it takes a couple weeks for me to walk away, like this most recent experience.

I guess, what I really want to do here, is pass this permission slip along to you, if you are anything like me. If you are really suffering through something, stop! You can be like these cool old ladies, and walk away, giggling as you go! You don’t have to force yourself to like something that you don’t anymore. You are allowed to have opinions, preferences, tastes. You are allowed to exist in this reality you are creating. Give yourself permission to take up space!

I am not saying to do it all in one fell swoop, like I have done on occasion. I am not even going to tell you to do this without seriously thinking it over. But, what I will tell you is this: every time I have loved myself more deeply, through listening to my true self, and have left behind old thoughts, situations, relationships that no longer supported me, I have been fully supported. The universe cannot help but reflect back to you, what you are putting out there, remember! By choosing you, you are choosing love, and not fear. And by embodying love, you receive all that much more of it.

It does take courage, I know! It does take faith, I know! But from someone who has walked through the fire multiple times, I am here to tell you, I made it to the other side.

I once had a friend say to me: “You are very lucky and protected by the Universe. You have been in some terrible situations and nothing bad came of it. Not all of us have that kind of luck. There is something very special about you.”

Hogwash, I tell you! Complete hogwash! We ALL are protected by the Universe. We ALL are unconditionally loved. But, we DO have to choose it, and we DO have to receive it.

If you want your external reality to be faithful to you, be faithful to yourself. Embody this, in every cell of your being. And watch how your reality shifts. One by one, you can leave the guys you don’t like at the theatre, and become friends with yourself again.

Loyalty, I was reminded again, is an internal state of being.

It’s the little things..

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Color-ific!

 

Tonight I decided to color.  Peter bought me some nifty colored pencils for Valentine’s Day, ones small enough I can slip into my purse.  During my wedding, Christmas, and afterwards I had been given adult coloring books, which I have found to be amusing as I gave all my bridesmaids similar coloring books this fall.

I picked up the first picture I could find from my coloring collection.  It was given to me by a friend of mine.  As I began to color, I began to appreciate her thoughtful gift.  These simple sheets of paper with butterflies on them, which she knows I love.

And the words kept running through my mind: It’s the little things.  If you blink, you will miss them.  And then they’ll be gone.  Over and over I had this run through my head, and decided this is what I need to write about tonight.

So often in life we experince waves of emotion, or experiences that keep us from remembering the little things that people do for us to assist and brighten our journey. Tonight as I colored, I thought about how much joy my friend had hoped I would experience in coloring these butterflies.  I thought about the time it took her to copy these pages.  I thought about her bringing them in her car for miles just to give them to me.

It’s the little things…

These pencils Peter gave to me to color with…

If you blink, you will miss it…

I am simply appreciating tonight how much I have been given. And by doing so, I feel like I am coming back into right relationship with myself and with those around me .

So often, society asks us to run around all day to keep up with the Jones’s.  What if the opposite is true?  What if what we really need to do is rest, open up to what we already have, and give gratitude?  What if this is the key to finding true abundance within?

Take a moment tonight and look around you. Look for the smallest thing you may have overlooked in your experience.  Thank the person that made it possible, even if only in your mind.  Even if it was you who made it possible.

Tonight, I thank my friend who gave me these pages, and I thank Peter who gave me the pencils to color with.  I thank Spirit for reminding me to rest and relax and color.

All that I need is here, now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

77.77

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So, Valentine’s day is right around the corner, and I knew exactly the store to go to for Peter: Milk & Honey in Rockport.  He loves the simple beautiful touches you can bring to a home through the items expressed here. I love it too. It is a really well curated shop.

I asked my guidance earlier in the day if I should buy him the more expensive roof rack he is wanting for his Volvo to carry the boat he is building for us on top of it. I got a solid : “No.  Go enjoy yourself in Rockport.” And I felt my energy light up at the thought of going to his favorite shop.

When my intuition talks, I listen.

So I went, and when I walked into the shop, I was offered tea by the pleasant cashier.  She had just made herself a fresh pot on this chilly day. We were off to a good start.

I found him three lovely gifts, and placed them on the counter. Then suddenly I remembered something that I wanted to get for myself to celebrate my transition into doing flower essence therapy next week.  (I already have two clients on Monday for flower essence consultations! Yippy! ) I have been wanting to re-decorate my office to reflect more of my connection to nature and to flowers. So I grabbed this calendar I posted up above, and rushed back to the counter.

“This must be your lucky day,” she said.  “Your total comes to $77.77.”

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Enter a caption

I squealed like a young school girl.  Had I not went back and got that calendar for myself, the magical line-up of numbers would not have been there.

“Do you know about angel numbers?” I asked.

“No, what are those?” She asked.

“When you see repeating numbers it means they are communicating messages to you.  777 means that you are on the right track, and to keep doing what you are doing,” I told her.

“Can I have some of that angel energy?” She asked.

“Of course! Here you go! ” I said.

I floated out the door.  I knew going to that store was the right thing to do for Peter’s gift, but more than that I knew what my angels were communicating to me- celebrate your work in doing flower essence therapy.

“You are on the right track,” I could feel them saying.

And not only were they affirming this, they also were affirming my Reiki teaching practice, by sending me the biggest class I have taught yet in Reiki this month, and a second class in the works for next week.  Not that big means better, but usually it is an exclamation point from the Universe that you are on the right track when classes or schedules fill effortlessly.  Or better yet, for those of you who believe you create your own reality, it is a sign from your higher self that you are in sync with one another.

When I got home, I couldn’t help but share with my favorite angel practitioner, Angel Amy,  ( http://www.myangelamy.com)  what the numbers on my receipt had been.

She, of course, laughed, and said her client just handed her money and on the 20 dollar bill was written this!

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77! We both laughed and said : “You can’t make this stuff up!”

Well, I guess the angels were with us today, and I am enjoying especially the feeling of the Indian Tobacco flower essence that is reminding me to continue to embrace my higher self.

What does that even mean?! To me , it means to follow what brings you more joy, more ease, and more freedom! That will certainly get you on the right track!

I will be away from writing this blog this weekend, but I promise to make up for it with a stellar post on Pluto sometime next week that I wrote for a feminist zine, and whatever other magic the Universe weaves into my reality.

May the stars and flowers and the angels be with you this weekend.  Happy Valentine’s Day. May you feel loved, and may you give lots of love!

 

For flower essence consultations contact me at astroessences@gmail.com ❤

 

 

Wings

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Wings today…

” When you meet someone new,” my yoga teacher friend asked in today’s class, “what is one quality that stands out? Are they inspiring, loyal, joyful…”

My mind immediately went to: “Kind. They are kind.”

“Now,” she said, “If you feel comfortable, turn that quality into an ‘I Am statement..'”

I am kind, I began to chant in my head as a mantra.

As I pulled out of the yoga class and stopped at a stoplight, I realized I was in the wrong lane. I looked in my right side mirror to make sure nobody was coming, and switched lanes. As I did this, a car that must have been in my blind spot or who was doing the same thing, slammed on his brakes, and screeched to a halt. Oh boy, I thought in my head. Close call. I kept driving. I could see the driver’s hands flailing in the air. I felt badly, but was grateful that we did not get into an accident.

I turned onto the highway to travel north back home, and noticed the same driver tailing me. I knew it was him by the Rudolph nose on the front of his car. I switched lanes. He switched lanes behind me. I switched lanes again. He switched lanes behind me.

Suddenly I felt I was like Annie Walker, the kick-ass detective in the hit show Covert Affairs. I pictured her whizzing from lane to lane chasing a bad guy, with total confidence. Only this time I was being chased. Same difference, I thought.

I got smarter this next switch, and went directly in front of a car in the right lane, so that he could no longer be behind me. He went in front of me, and purposefully slowed down. He slowed down to about 35 miles per hour on the highway. This time I honked. I pretended I was about to switch lanes to the left again. He started to go that way too, and instead, I stayed in the right lane, which made him swerve back in front of me. Eventually he realized he was endangering himself by following me from lane to lane, and took the next exit while flipping me the bird in the rear view.

“Wow,” I thought. “Is this the violent people that I was scared of before taking this Black Cohosh essence? I was not scared at all today…”

I reflected the rest of the drive home, and even now, at how calm I felt the entire time this was happening. Even though this guy could have totally run me off the road. Even though he was stark raving mad. For some reason, instead of feeling guilty or bad, or pulling over, I just kept driving. Instead of being shut down, I went on the offensive. This is a new reaction, I realized, that I normally do not have in the face of anger.

I am kind…

This affirmation was sticking in my head. Pulling out in front of him was an accident, and what he was up to now, was intentional.

I am kind…

How often in life have I taken the blame for something that was an honest mistake, and tried to make up for it? How often have I believed I deserved punishment for making a mistake? Where did this belief come from?

Acceptance….

We all make mistakes.

“Spread your angel wings,” Anna said in one of the yoga poses today. I felt my arms open and my shoulders. Sweet relief. I don’t have to hide this part of me today, right now. Nor did anyone else in the class.

I got home, and finally decided to pull the angel wings out of my car that have been in there since my Halloween wedding. A few of the feathers were torn and tattered. But, nonetheless they still are wings.

I am kind…

I will fix the wings.

Black Cohosh: No harm may come to me
Horseradish: I feel my power
Indian Tobacco: I embrace my higher nature

Even when it looks like it might be a time to give in, to shrink low, to be hard on yourself, chances are it is better to embrace who you truly are- your higher nature.

I often tell my clients, when you begin to heal things, the old story comes comes up and appears in your reality. It’s like your spirit is looking to filter the gold out, from the piles of rock and sand. Simply observe the old story almost like a train passing by, carrying all your old baggage with it. Today that man in that car, was my train passing by. He was reminding me of who I am not, and what I will not do, to appease violence.

I am so grateful for my plant and human allies today, as I remembered who I was even in the face of this angry driver. I did not shrink down. I will not shrink down.

And don’t you either.

My name is Grace. Do you know what that means?

Forgiveness.

I am kind.